[personal profile] belovedpiglet

Prince charming and his horse

Just wanted to show the white horse I got for my birthday from Lillen ... and riding him is of course Drömprinsen (Prince Charming) the frog. And no, when you kiss him he does not turn into a prince, unfortunately :( That would've been great though, wouldn't it? 

Mr M was online at ICQ today when I logged on around lunchtime. After thinking about it for a while, I decided to drop him a little "hello" to see if there was any reaction or reply (my hands shaking violently, of course). There wasn't. Not that I am surprised, but maybe just a tiny bit disappointed. I wanted him to reply, even though I had no idea whatsoever what I would've said to continue the conversation. Would've depended a bit on what his reply was, of course, but no use in contemplating on that since he did not reply. Now all I wonder is: did he realize it was me writing him (we've never spoken that way, I just happened to find him there while browsing for people [and thinking way too much of him] last summer and so I added him on my friend's list, while I am not on his ... so it might just be that he just clicked me away as an unwanted message from someone not on his contact list, not even checking who it was ... I don't know!) and he did not want to talk to me?  I guess I will never find anything out unless I talk to him IRL and I never get around to that. I mean, other than talking about work-related stuff. Damn, why does he have to be so cute? Why did I have to fall so badly for him and why did he have to walk away from my heart and leave it longing for him all the time?

And I dreamt about him again this morning ... Another one of those dreams where we're in the same place, I want to talk to him, but I never get a chance. No need for analyzing there - it's just the plain truth: I want to talk to him, but never get there ... and time just runs away and it's what? seven months since we went out for coffee together ... seven months since the conference ... seven months since my dreams were still alive and not shattered and here I am, still foolishly wishing it could be him and me ...

Why can't I just forget?

Ah, and yesterday I met the cutest guy on Earth - being of course, Alvin. He's adorable. Even though he was not really in a good mood yesterday, you can't help but love him. I wanted to take a photo of him when he was smiling (gorgeous!) or wearing his cute hat with giraffes on it, but the only time I managed to capture him without a blur was when he was asleep finally (and that sure wasn't for long!). But you can still have a look at the cutie here:

I am bored today. I tried to tidy, but mostly I just made more of a mess. Why do I always end up trying to tidy the drawers and cupboards and stuff? That is never a good idea ... When I try to get everything its own little space, I just end up with too little space to take all of my stuff. I really have too many things ... and too little space! I wanted to go for a walk in the sun earlier, but it turned out a very short one. Going for a walk on your own is very, very boring. I was just dying for company (and I seemed to see cute couples everywhere, which didn't exactly help)

Listening to: "The other side" by Evan
Currently reading: "Wolf brother" by Michelle Paver

23/4/06 14:14 (UTC)
[identity profile] superkattis.livejournal.com
aww, you should talk to him, even if it's just about work related things as a start. after a while you could pop in some other subjects. i know it might be easier said than done though. :)

23/4/06 14:42 (UTC)
[identity profile] frosted-flower.livejournal.com
sure is. the situation is so weird now :( it would've been easier if we had not already taken that cup of coffee out ... it would still be hard, shy as i am, but it would be doable. now i just don't know. we met and then nothing happened and we got back to just saying hi and i really felt that there was potential for more, but i don't dare to ask him :(

23/4/06 15:42 (UTC)
[identity profile] superkattis.livejournal.com
if you don't ask you will never get to know though. the worst that can happen is that you get a no. i'm sure you know what the best case scenario is. ;)

27/4/06 16:00 (UTC)
[identity profile] frosted-flower.livejournal.com
of course i do. but it is hard to believe in that happening now. hard to believe yet hard to forget. that's really unfair no? dreams and feelings are tricky things for sure! :P
btw, i believe mély told me you met your bf via lunarstorm, is that really so? *curious*

27/4/06 17:47 (UTC)
[identity profile] superkattis.livejournal.com
yup, that's true actually! but we started talking on icq quite soon afterwards, and then we met up. :)

28/4/06 07:20 (UTC)
[identity profile] frosted-flower.livejournal.com
Cool :) ICQ is more practical for longe conversations though, of course :)

23/4/06 14:30 (UTC)
[identity profile] miss-cappuccino.livejournal.com
talking about work *is* a start, as boring as it is. if you just had the occasion to talk more (i.e. if lillen was not around so much), it might lead to other topics, who knows.

cleaning = arrrrgh!!! *thinking of where to start myself*

23/4/06 14:40 (UTC)
[identity profile] frosted-flower.livejournal.com
well. it's not like we talk that much about work either. so. whatever. i shouldn't care. or i should do something drastic. maybe drag him into an empty room an kiss him :)

23/4/06 14:44 (UTC)
[identity profile] frosted-flower.livejournal.com
it would. and i would never do it, of course. only in my daydreams ...

23/4/06 14:47 (UTC)
[identity profile] miss-cappuccino.livejournal.com
of course. unless one day you wake really, really fed up with this frustrating situation and decide to attempts something drastic.

23/4/06 14:50 (UTC)
[identity profile] frosted-flower.livejournal.com
hehe, i do feel that way sometimes. you know, like "now i will do something crazy about this" but i never dare to once he's around. i sometimes just wish he could say someting that i could make a funny comment to, you know, a comment that could be jokingly but still contains a lot of feeling ... but he never does :/

23/4/06 14:53 (UTC)
[identity profile] miss-cappuccino.livejournal.com
yeah, i see what you mean - a witty reply with a double meaning. it's a pity those occasions don't come up often. :(

27/4/06 16:02 (UTC)
[identity profile] frosted-flower.livejournal.com
yep! but why should things be easy, eh? damn. i can't believe i am still trying to think of witty things to make him interested in me ... that should be sooooo over :( i already blew it *feeling sick*


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