One night ...

Thursday, 27 April 2006 18:51
[personal profile] belovedpiglet

 "... One night with you Is what I'm now praying for The things that we two could plan Would make my dreams come true ..."

I so should not be sitting by the computer again. I have way too much of that at work, and right now my entire body seems to be in pain, but mostly my lower arms, of course. It's really driving me crazy. Honestly, what can you do that does not strain your arms? Pretty much nothing ... especially not the things that I like to do, such as writing or cross-stitching and stuff like that. I've had these problems for so long now, and you get used to it somehow ... but now it's really getting worse. I don't want to be back at what it was a few years back when I had to take sick leave finally cause I just couldn't stand it anymore ... *sigh* Let's hope that it won't come to that. It's a good thing I will have vacations soon ... believe it's only three more weeks of work left now. Then Melyssa will come here. Wow! Surreal, for sure! And I really, really hope that the weather will be better by then ... cause what we've had so far this year has not been fun ...

"... Just call my name And I'll be right by your side I want your sweet helping hand My loves too strong to hide ..."

This week is really long and slow. That's usually the case when one has to work a whole week after some weeks have been shortened by holidays, no? There is still another day to go, and I am tired to the bone. Holidays tend to mess things up at work pretty bad, so we're all stressed out. Monday is off too. It's nice to have extra days off, of course, but they make so much trouble at work that sometimes it hardly feels worth it. The funniest thing happening at work today must have been this morning when Kari called and then all the drivers were shouting "good morning". That's an interesting start to your day, no? I couldn't help but smile when Kari told me he just wanted to let me know that he, Lillen, Magnus and Thomas were all sitting down there and Jarmo was loading his truck - just so that I shouldn't wonder where they were. Haha! I can't say that I was wondering, but who cares? Someone making you smile in the morning is always something! (*trying not to get lost in a daydream where I would actually wake to M's beautiful smile in the morning [and wondering if he does smile in the morning, as he does not seem to be one of those people who "rise and shine"]*)

"... Always lived, very quiet life I ain't never did no wrong Now I know that life without you Has been too lonely too long ..."

I decided to nominate this poem for the Sockerdricka anthology finally:

Read the poem "Augustilangtan" at Sockerdricka!

It really wasn't easy to chose one, so I decided to go for the one that I've had most positive response to at the site. I am not that active there, so I usually don't get too many comments, as usually the ones who have tons of comments are those who have many friends in the community. Anyway, now I will just have to wait and see if they will choose to publish my poem or not. I have no idea how many poems are submitted anyway ... I believe there was going to be 250 poems in the book or something. Whatever. I don't like to translate poems, and this one isn't exactly the easiest one, but I will try, for the sake of those of you who don't speak Swedish ...

August longing
The late summer sun penetrate like spears through heavy grey authumn clouds
warms my skin to longing and I tremble
Your eyes whisper to me through nights thick with dreams
wrap me up in sapphire-shimmering velvet
Starlit skies sparkle in your smile
that I have missed through eternal seconds of emptiness
Would you give me your hands to caress
in the first blooming of the dew of dawn?
(Anna 050826)

It's dedicated to M, of course, who else? Damn! His smile is really the most beautiful thing!

"... One night with you Is what I'm now praying for The things that we two could plan Would make my dreams come true ..."

And I will never be able to understand how I can feel that destiny is calling when meeting hi eyes and yet be so wrong ... How can he not feel the electricity when we're in the same room? How could all those smiles, silly words that said nothing but felt heavy with meaning ... how could the mean nothing? That is truly a mystery ... and I go crazy contemplating it, for sure!

Jesper and Nasse making out on the sofa! We found them like this one day ... it means something to me only because my sister calles me Nasse sometimes and M's colleagues call him Jesper ... 

Listening to: "Legendary Elvis"
Currently reading: "Scaredy cat" by Mark Billingham

29/4/06 15:56 (UTC)
[identity profile]
inte då! *fnissar* säkert inte värre än vad du och din hovnarr ägnar er åt i alla fall *blink blink*

teddydjuren har ju inte så många ... hm ... organ att schnuska med ;)

1/5/06 15:47 (UTC)
[identity profile]
Joho! Massor av rosa lemmar ser jag! Usch!

28/4/06 18:52 (UTC)
[identity profile]
i don't mean to be a nasty whimsy kid, but... why do you have to use such a small font? :( i can't read it with my lousy eyes. i have to copy and paste it in word to enlarge the font.

this said... 3 weeks indeed. weird. i'm starting to be nervous now. is it normal? not nervous to see you and sofus, of course, on the contrary - you are the reassuring part. but nervous about all the rest. :S

the poem is pretty. :) but maybe i'm not objective. i love all your poems, the melancholy in them.

29/4/06 16:05 (UTC)
[identity profile]
well, the thing is: i like small fonts :)and it does not look so small on my computer ... which makes it hard for me to know ;) it looks different on different computers too, i don't know why. sorry. but you know me, my handwriting is rather small too. but i did not know my font was THAT small finally =/

hehe. i don't know what is normal. i usually don't feel nervous about trips. i think i was not nervous about our trip to canada until we were leaving the plane in montreal finally *s* and it wasn't that bad even then. i was more nervous about calling air france to ask questions and silly stuff like that - SOOOO TYPICALLY ME, eh? *blink*

well, thank you. let's hope the sockedricka people will like it too, then ;) it would be so cool to see something i've written printed. woah!

29/4/06 18:32 (UTC)
[identity profile]
i wish i'd have the choice to like them or not. :( i mean, i usually tend to like bigger, bolder things in general, but i've always had eye problems, and the computer is not easy on them. so i have to live with that as best as i can. *sigh*

yeah, you're as normal as me, finally, in your own personal way. hihi.

29/4/06 19:06 (UTC)
[identity profile]
i used only the x-small font in my last entry, for this one here i used xx-small, so maybe you'll like it a bit better? to me it looks ugly though. i don't know why the computer messes everything up :( i want to be able to chose the font here, but that seems impossible :(

30/4/06 12:41 (UTC)
[identity profile]

i know how to make the font bigger in comments

with html, but i am not sure for
. hmmm...

28/4/06 18:55 (UTC)
[identity profile]
oh yeah cutie here on the icon wants to know if jesper has been called this way because of jesper, or if it's a coincidence?

29/4/06 16:01 (UTC)
[identity profile]
well, he's actually named after the same soccerplayer that gave m his nickname (jesper blomqvist)... sofus used to fancy him, way back :) SHE should've been the one to fall for m finally then, huh? haha!

29/4/06 18:24 (UTC)
[identity profile]
oh so that's the original jesper guy... does m look anything like him?

29/4/06 19:04 (UTC)
[identity profile]
well. not much like he does in this picture. there is a resemblence, but it is not that big. i mean, when i saw m the first time i immideately realized that it was the guy they said looked like jesper b but it's not that they are that alike!!


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